I'd like to see less of...I'd like to see more of....

This post is meant to be a starting point. I'll share a couple things I'd like to see less of and a few things I'd like to see more of... Then I'd like some others to join in. Everyone has something they'd like to see less of and more of; so here's your chance. Tell the World or hold your tongue.

I'd like to see (and hear) less people say "hold your tongue..." and other cliches like, "low hanging fruit", "path forward", "it's all about the people" etc.

I'd like to see (hear) more people just say what they really think and not filter it through societal expectations, political correctness, etc.

I'd like to see more people smile and say hi! Why pick and choose? Last time I checked there was no minimum allocation of good will to be shared with others. The person you say hi to might have just had their day made by your small gesture.

I'd like to see less stone faces, seriousness, and judgement. At times I feel like an old eastern block country where we need to check in with the government to see how many minutes we get to smile today. We live in the greatest country in the World, and with all its faults we get so many choices that others do not. And if all that fails, how about just taking in the gifts that are free, the air, the trees, the lakes, the innocence of kids, ice cream sundaes, really good coffee, really bad coffee but great company...its all good. Soak some of it up; its just waiting to get noticed.

I'd like to see more careless joy. Shouting to the heavens just for the heck of it. Stomping in puddles and getting soakers and not bitching about it. Walking in the rain on a warm summer day...and not bitching about it. Marvelling at the beauty of winter, the snow on the branches and staying out too long until your toes feel numb...then bitching about it, but then taking a hot bath or shower and realizing how awesome it feels. Hanging out with kids and trying to figure out their logic and laughing when you can't.

I'd like to see less protocol, rules, policies, restrictions...I just don't like people telling me what to do. I'd definitely like to see less Robert's Rules of Order. I hate that shit. I don't like to make motions and I don't want to be recognized just so I can have the floor. What would I do with it anyway? I drive bureaucrats crazy when I make a motion and then wait a few moments and second my own motion...

I'd like to see more common courtesy. I won't give you my floor, but if you have something to say, I'd like to listen. If we are all so rude that we need some parliementary rules to govern our movements...well that's just wrong. And I do second that motion.

I'd like to see less reality shows.

I'd like to see more reality.

I'd like to see less texting and more talking.

I'd like to see someone read my non-verbal communication through a blackberry.

I'd like to see more politicians being civil and actually thinking win-win...on second thoughts, no I wouldn't.

I'd like to see less politicians. In fact, I don't want to see them at all.

Hey, this was fun. You've got to try it. Let your mind go, have some fun with it. Thhink of it as a mental freestyle run. What would you like to see less of and more of?

Open Door Policy...That's Funny.

I am a manager and one of my favorite sports is poking fun at managers...does that make me bad? Here's a fun one; years ago I was working with a senior executive in the paper industry. He had a reputation for riding people hard and putting them away wet if you know what I mean. I met with him to provide some much needed feedback.

My end in mind was really to help him and hopefully help the many who suffered under him. I asked him, "Who holds up your mirror?" I went on to explain that at his high level, did he get open and honest feedback from anyone? He replied sternly, "I have an open door policy!" I had to explain that a mousetrap is akin to an open door policy but after getting snapped at, if they are lucky enough to escape, they won't likely return. He looked confused and was pretty sure I was calling him a rat.

I'm not sure that guy ever was going to get it but here's the point; as a boss, even a really nice boss; people are hesitant to be critical. Why? With a mean boss, the reason is urban legend and repurcussions. With the nice boss it is the desire to keep it that way and so people rationalize their silence. So what does this mean for any of us?

There are lots of situations where we become the boss. In a marriage at times, with friends, kids, in community situations like church, groups etc. Who really holds up our mirror? And how do we get others to be mirror holders?

We have to make getting feedback a good thing. It won't feel natural at first and we will have to become keenly aware of interventions from ego, pride and other evil elements within. Subdue those buggers and try it for a week. Explain to a number of people you generally trust and admire that you would like them to be a mirror holder for you. You may even elect to have them watch for specific things you are wanting to know. And even with all that, you will have repeatedly ask for the feedback.

As a starter, you may want to select a situation, like a party, a group meeting or something with a defined time line to have others observe and report. When they give you feedback, make a hero out of them no matter what they say. Listen, listen, listen, then probe for clarity only. No explanations, no judgment. You can reserve the right to disagree if you want so the risk is really minimal. Take time to digest their words. And without ego, pride etc. see if there aren't some gold nuggets in there.

If you are really brave, solicit feedback from a critic. They might not be as nice but they'll open the fire hose given half a chance. The key here is to thank them. That will confuse the hell out of them. Then digest all the comments looking for things that might actually have merit. Who'd have thought you could mine gold from a manure pile? Think of it as fertilizer and there must be something in there to help you grow.

Feedback is one of the most talked about topics but one of the least practiced skills. Start slow and build. Let me know how it goes. You don't have to be the boss to get feedback.